summer

Remember last summer?

I’m sure you do. I’m sure you remember the pool and beer and sunshine and friends and hiking and vacation and all the good stuff summer brings.

I remember babies.

I remember hospital rooms and homes.
I remember being woken up in the wee hours of the morning.
I remember hearing little ones cry for the first time.
I remember holding many a momma’s hand.
I remember a breech vaginal birth.
And 3 others where we barely made it to the hospital in time.
I remember barely making it to a couple home births.
I remember one momma shouting from the mountaintops “look at my baby! He is amazing! He is beautiful! So many newborns are ugly, but look at him!” This momma will probably forever remain the most “high” from an unmedicated birth I will witness. She told everyone in the room to rob a bank if they couldn’t afford a doula. So if you wanna top her, you better get creative.
I was there when a momma made the call to her deployed husband in Kuwait “Babe, he is here! I did it with no pain medication, I wish you could have seen me!”
I have vivid memories of my first mommas who needed c-sections.
I remember many sad and happy tears shared between me and these families that so graciously allow me into such a sacred time.
I remember being pretty tired.
I remember an emergency c-section where I ran next to her bed with her as far as I could, she continued on passed the OR doors, and then within minutes I heard a wailing baby. And I cried.
I remember getting home at all hours, with 2 littles of my own thrilled to see me. And as tired as I am, I pull out that last little bit of strength.
I remember that even with that busyness, I didn’t miss my daughter’s birthday.
All the hard work. All the tears. All the pushing. All the “I can’t’s”. All the waiting. All the conversations. All the laughing. All the holding legs. All the holding hands. All the holding babies.

From June to August, I was there as 14 tiny babes entered this world. And that isn’t including the births I attended as a midwife assistant. I’ve finally resolved within myself that my life as a doula/midwife assistant will often be quite a bit different from what I used to know. And what my friends and family know. I won’t always get to be a part of everything. And sometimes that really, really sucks. But while I’m missing one thing, I’ll be helping a momma and a baby make the best start of their new life.

I still count that as worthwhile. Probably one of the most worthwhile things I could do with my time.

Here goes another summer! I can’t believe all these previous summer babies are almost a year old!

Here’s to sunshine, tasty adult beverages, vacation, water and babies! 🙂

  • John

    I remember last summer, too. You were gone a lot. But you came home full and happy. You were tired, but smiling.

    I cannot explain how happy it makes me to see you doing something you love. Something that matters. Something that makes this world a little better.

    Thank you for setting an amazing example to our kids. I’m so very proud of you and your heart! I love you.